Archives for posts with tag: Solace

It’s not like life suddenly got exciting or anything, far from it. I’m just a complete lazy bones and temporarily forgot that I wrote.

This week I reread Solace in its entirety and didn’t hate all of it! Hey that’s an improvement! The key areas that I need to focus and rewrite is the beginning {pretty mediocre} and the ending {absolute drivel}. The middle section, which I thought was perhaps a bit shaky, turned out to be quite fine and I’ll only have to write a scene in order to make it flow cohesively.

My dreams of having it ready for Christmas will not come to fruition unfortunately. I don’t have the funds to pay for someone to proofread and edit the novel. It’ll be a while away. Which is a shame as I really wanted to have it ready for the Christmas markets, seeing as everyone and their grandmother is getting an e-reader this year.

In other story related news, I’ve written a very short piece on my pirate queen and I absolutely love it. I don’t know if I have it truly in me to write a full length novel of some 100,000 words, but I definitely have a few short stories in me. Always little ideas that are just a scene at a time.

Right, I need to look at my novel seriously by the end of November and do some goddamn editing. Get a move on Missy.

Finally! I started editing Solace today. I think I needed a mental break from it. And also I’ve been volunteering my butt off in a school library, really trying to make an impression. And whilst I have made an impression, it unfortunately hasn’t had the affect where I thought I might be offered a sort of part time job. I’m in dire need of money. My finances havent been this low in a long long time. Ouch.

So I’m going to really try to concentrate now on getting Solace out in time for Christmas. Its been my plan since September, and having finished the novel, I’m looking forward to tweaking it and making it perfect.

Sometimes I think a well needed break from your work is necessary. I just kept staring at the opening lines of my novel, and hating every single word written. Ultimately this was stopping me from moving past the first line and seeing the rest of the novel. But now, its slow progress, but I’m getting there.

I’ve also been working at something else. A pirate novel. But I think I may leave that for NaNoWriMo, which starts on the 1st of November and encourages those ambitious enough to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month. I’ve tried multiple times before to do it, but have never had enough time to complete it. Last year was my best, with some 20,000 words written. Then it all went to hell and back. 

But I’d like to attempt to do it again this year. 

Anyone successfully completed NaNoWriMo before? Or anyone going to do it this year?

 

I haven’t even looked at Solace since I finished it last week. Well I’ve looked at the first chapter a number of times and groaned. The thoughts of editing it make me want to pull my hair out. It would be lovely to just put it out into the world as it is, but I fear that would just cause me too much shame. I should be proud of what I have written, but I’m just disheartened by it. And I can’t figure out why. Maybe its a matter of putting it in a drawer for a few months, forgetting it exists and then coming back to it after a while. Maybe inspiration will come then? Maybe I’ll be able to see its worth and love it again.

But at the moment I’m very tired of it. And I want to start something fresh to forget about it. 

So last night I wrote my 50,000 word of  Solace. It also happened to be the very last few words of the novel too. And frankly I was disappointed. I thought having completed a novel, fireworks would suddenly erupt, maybe I’d even do a little dance, but nope, nothing. Truthfully I didn’t even register that I had written the final words of it.
I think those sort of celebrations will come at a later date, when the novel has been edited and the final version has been published, then I’ll allow myself some sort of gratuitous celebration.
The hard part now comes, with editing. I haven’t gone over any of the work so far, so I’m sure its a goddamn mess. Joy oh joy. I also want to slot in an additional 10,000 words at some point {crazy talk I know}.

The next few weeks, sure are going to be interesting.
How did you feel when you wrote the final words of your masterpiece?

I’m having a little bit of difficulty at the moment. And of course it’s coming right as I write the last few thousand words of my novel. Typical.

I’ve pictured the ending of my novel for so bloody long now, that as I write it, I cannot for some reason or another write coherently, it’s all coming out as word vomit, and not the good kind either. I don’t know if it’s a case of my brain, saying, “Missy, just put all your ideas out here, then we’ll come back to it later” or if I’ve suddenly just become a goddamn awful writer. Some of the last few sections have been really good, and this vomit at the moment has just been, well, vomit.

It could also be a case of rushing. Although I don’t feel like I’m in a hurry. I’ve given myself a deadline of October 31st to finish writing Solace. This is not taking into account, time for edits, cover work etc. So I’ve still got a number of days ahead of me that will allow me plenty of time to work on the material at hand.

I think I’m just excited to be writing the final closing stages of the book. Because after this, well book 2 has been written for almost years. The majority of it, that is. And i’m itching to get started on that.

Obviously at times like this, it would be amazing to have an editor, to bounce ideas off. This is one of the harder parts of self publishing, the loneliness that accompanies your project. I haven’t established an online presence in relation to my writing, I’ve been so busy with the other side of things, that I thought leaving it until the novel was written would be a better decision. Now I’m slightly regretting it.

It also doesn’t help that the book you’re currently reading, the prose seems to be so effortless. Simple descriptions look like Joycean written passages. Goddamn.

What do you do to combat self doubts and bad writing?

Whilst trying to figure out something poignant to say, I happened to glance out my window and discover the most beautiful sunset happening outside my bedroom window. Naturally my first thought was to document it, rather than savour in the beauty of it. It disappeared after 3 or 4 minutes.

I’m currently in the middle of reading Susan Ee’s Angelfall and there are parts of the book, that I am looking at quite anxiously going, ‘Shit, my character does this thing too. Fuckety fuck.” The only thing that keeps me from ridding the whole damn novel is, Angelfall is a dystopian paranormal YA. Whereas mine is pure paranormal. God I hate that word. Paranormal. It feels icky writing it. When I picture the word paranormal and the connotations behind it, I think, weird, creepy and sad. Whereas that is so far from the truth. I’ve read so much of that genre, just under different guises.

I know my stressing over vague similarities between my book and Susan Ee’s book are ridiculous. And by vague I mean in my book Solace my character Esme drags an angel through the woods after she finds him stabbed. In Angelfall, Penryn lifts the angel into a wheelchair and brings him to safety. I know i’m just being ridiculous and dramatic and flailing all over the place, but it unsettled me for a day or two. Fingers crossed the angel and Penryn don’t fall in love…oh wait…shit.

In 2010 I decided to go back to college and obtain my masters in library and information studies. It was a decision based on, what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life? I had spent 2009 frolicking around Australasia and generally not having a care in the world. It was bliss. And I knew it.

But upon arriving back into the middle of a recession, and the worst recession ever, didn’t bode so well. I tried unsuccessfully to get a job, dozens upon dozens of CVs were handed out. But nothing. Not a peep from anyone. So I decided to go back to college and pray for better prospects there. My time in college was fabulous, I loved every second of it. It was so nice to use my brain again and be studious.

Fast forward to a year later. I was very bloody fortunate to finish college and pretty much get a job straight away. Now it was a part time job, but it was in a library, so that made me happy. However a year is almost over and I’m still in my part time job that I enjoy immensely but that pays pretty shite.

So I constantly have no money. Anything I want I have to save for a long long time. Part of the reason I’m burdening on you, dear readers, is highlighting the costs that it takes to self publish.

Between domain names, editors, proof readers, cover designers and what not, it’s a long expensive trip. At the moment I’m in the negative when it comes to money, and so will have to spend the next few months living hand to mouth. But I figure it will be worth it in the long run, I’ll have a piece of work in the public domain that I will be incredibly proud of. Sure my friends may moan that they might not see me any longer, but it’s a risk I’ll have to take if I want to meet my deadline.

I reached a very important goal today. I reached 40,000 words on Solace. Of which I am absolutely unbelievably proud. The last 13000 words seemed to have just flown out of my fingertips and onto the screen. Here’s hoping the next 20000 do the same. I’ve given myself a goal of 60000 words to reach, and hopefully will do so, if this novel wants to see completion.

Whilst writing the draft of my novel, it went under the working title of ‘The Lighthouse’. Yes, there is a lighthouse in the story, and in a sense serves as a metaphor throughout the novel. However last week I came up with it’s actual title…drum roll please….

Solace

I have to say I’m pretty happy with it. Sorry it sounds like I’ve invented the word, but it’s just the perfect word to describe the novel. I’ve even created a mock cover for it. Christ I know, anything but write the damn thing. Though for periods of this week, I was crazy productive. I just need to hop aboard that creative train again and get working.

Yesterday was my 27th birthday {when did I start to get so old???}, so I treated myself to a new MacBook Pro. I’ve had my MacBook for 5 years now and it’s been a wonderful friend. But lately it’s getting so very slow and it’s packed to the hilt with songs and movies and whatnot. This bad boy, allows me 500GB of space to fill. So clearly my weekend is going to be spent playing with it.

Now please excuse me, whilst I play with these shiny new buttons. Oooh what does this one do….